In conversation with feminist Judy Rebick
Reader’s Digest Canada: In your new memoir, Heroes in My Head, you write about becoming aware as an adult that you’d been sexually abused by your father and had developed multiple personalities as a result. What motivated you to talk about something that is so painful and private?
Judy Rebick: I say in the intro that this is my #MeToo. I am speaking up and sharing my experience, hoping it might empower others. Childhood sexual abuse is a massive and widespread problem, but we’re not dealing with it. This is partly because of stigma, particularly around abuse that happens within the family. It’s so important that we stop thinking of abusers as just the creepy stranger. The family is one of the most dangerous places for women and children, and nobody wants to say that this is true.
When did you first become aware of your multiple personalities?
The first time one of them came out was in my therapist’s office when I was 45—all of a sudden there was someone named Simon talking from my mouth, who wasn’t me. I didn’t have any control of what he was saying.
How did your experience as a child cause the development of your multiple personality disorder?
Being abused by someone who is supposed to be taking care of you is unbearable. The brain creates the personalities to hide what’s happening from the child. The other personality experiences the abuse, so the child doesn’t remember it. One study says that [a median of] 30 per cent of sexually abused children repress the memories of it, and they usually don’t come out until middle age.
You were one of the most influential feminist voices of the 1980s and ’90s and instrumental in the fight for reproductive rights in Canada. And you say activism helped you through the fallout of abuse. How so?
When I became involved in the prochoice effort in the ’80s, it was a real battle. At the time, I was so shut down from my emotions that the only thing I felt was anger, so that work gave me an outlet that was constructive. Also, even though I wasn’t aware of my alternate personalities at the time, they liked that I was helping other people.
Feminism has grown, and changed, since that time. What do you think of the current #MeToo wave?
It’s fantastic! One thing I have realized over the past 10 or 15 years is that my generation of the women’s movement was very good at changing laws and policies, whereas #MeToo is about changing culture. And having these women with great influence and power talking about the harassment they have faced has been so important.
In the early ’90s, you were the president of the National Action Committee on the Status of Women, a federal activist organization that disappeared about 10 years ago. Should we replace it?
I think we should, but with something that’s different. NAC was a hierarchical and traditional organization, whereas when you look at the way young people are organizing since the anti-globalization movement, it’s a lot flatter—locally organized and with no visible leaders. I think that’s the way people are going to change the world in the future.
Heroes in My Head by Judy Rebick is available now.
Are you in a battle with your own biases? Here are three ways to live without prejudice.
What is a Fever Blister?
A fever blister hides out in the nerves and becomes active as a result of stress, overexposure to sunlight, or hormonal changes, or when your immune system is weak. You usually get a warning of a fever blister (also known as a cold sore), which may include tingling, discomfort, itching, or aching. This is when you might consider using the remedies described here. Don’t wait until a blister erupts; by then, it’s often too late.
Home Remedies for a Fever Blister
To reduce the duration and severity of a fever blister outbreak, follow this advice at the first tingling.
- Apply a damp black tea bag to the area where the outbreak typically occurs. Keep it on for 10 minutes. Repeat three or four times a day. Why it works: Tea bags contain tannic acid, an astringent that has antiviral properties (which is why tannic acid is often an ingredient in over-the-counter fever blister remedies).
- Next, apply an ice pack to the same area. Keep the ice on for 15 minutes, and repeat three or four times a day. Why it works: Ice numbs the pain, and there’s some evidence it may also reduce the amount of virus created.
- After each ice application, thickly apply lemon balm ointment (70:1 concentration) to the area. Lemon balm is often sold in health food stores. Why it works: Test tube studies suggest that lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) prevents the virus from attaching to cells, thus blocking its ability to replicate. One well-designed study of 116 people with oral or genital herpes found those treated with the balm recovered much quicker than those receiving a placebo. Plus, there’s some evidence that using lemon balm during the initial outbreak (the very first time you realize you have a fever blister) may reduce the risk of recurrence.
- Now take 1 gram lysine along with 1,000 milligrams vitamin C that also contains 1,000 milligrams of flavonoids. Take up to five times a day until the recurrence ends. Why it works: Lysine is an amino acid that works as an antiviral by blocking the activity of another amino acid, arginine. Arginine provides “food” for the virus, enabling it to replicate. Cutting off this fuel source reduces the amount of virus in your system. One study of 53 people with oral and genital herpes found those who received lysine supplements and cut out arginine-rich foods had an average of 3.1 outbreaks over six months, compared to an average of 4.2 in the control group.
- Also take a baby aspirin (83 milligrams) once a day with food. Why it works: The aspirin helps relieves the pain of a fever blister and may also reduce healing time. One small study found participants who took an aspirin at the first sign of an outbreak, then continued taking it for several months, had far fewer outbreaks than a control group that didn’t take aspirin.
Other Treatments for a Fever Blister
Herbs and Supplements
6. Quercetin. Take 500 milligrams twice a day of this flavonoid, which laboratory studies find blocks fever blister viruses from replicating. (Here are 13 vitamins and supplements that doctors take every day.)
Over-the-Counter Drugs
7. Aloe vera cream or extract 0.05% strength. Apply three times a day for five days during outbreaks. Studies find it reduces healing time.
8. Zinc. Apply a topical zinc sulfate cream (0.01% to 0.025%) several times a day. This helps heal the sore and reduces the risk of a recurrence.
Prescription Drugs
9. Denavir (penciclovir). This is the only prescription-strength topical treatment found to be effective, with studies showing it helps fever blisters heal about a day faster than placebo.
10. Oral antivirals. As with genital herpes, you can take an oral antiviral such as Zovirax (acyclovir), Famvir (famciclovir), or Valtrex (valacyclovir) at the first sign of an outbreak to prevent the virus from replicating.
Other Approaches
11. Aromatherapy. Dilute 1 drop lavender, lemon balm, chamomile, bergamot, or rose oil in 10 drops jojoba oil (which serves as a carrier oil) and smooth over the affected area several times a day. Here are five more ways to tap the healing power of lavender.
Fever Blister Prevention
Avoid triggers. Two primary ones are a weak immune system and stress. (Try these 37 expert-approved strategies for managing stress.) Also avoid overexposure to sunlight and any trauma to the skin around the mouth, such as rough kissing.
Follow a high-lysine/low-arginine diet. (See details above.) Also add seaweed salads, sushi, or green drinks containing seaweed extracts (available in health food stores). Laboratory studies find that seaweed has antiviral properties.
Zinc. Take 25 milligrams of zinc by mouth every day. Zinc enhances immunity, helping to prevent fever blister recurrences. (Skip these eight vitamins that are a waste of money—and might even be dangerous.)
Selenium. Take 200 micrograms a day to help maintain a healthy immune system.
Lysine. If you have frequent recurrences of fever blisters, take 1 gram a day to prevent outbreaks, but don’t take if you have high cholesterol, because long-term use can increase levels of “bad” LDL cholesterol.
Mineral sunscreen. Wear a high-SPF sunscreen on your face, and apply zinc oxide to areas prone to fever blisters. Don’t miss these 10 sunscreen tips you should always follow to protect your skin.
What Ferris Provincial Park means to me
Imagine standing on a warm summer day on a bridge suspended above the Trent-Severn Waterway. You look down and see the water rushing underneath you, feel the water splashing at your face, and hear the sounds of nature surrounding this gorgeous site.
The bridge is a connection between the small town of Campbellford and Ferris Provincial Park. I have been to this bridge many times throughout my young adult years, and this place will forever hold a special spot in my heart. I have always felt free here and it has given me a place to reconnect with nature.
Ferris Provincial Park is located within Campbellford in Northumberland County, Ontario. Although there are many places in Northumberland that I have fallen in love with over the years, Ferris Provincial Park is the most extraordinary. It offers a variety of activities including hiking, biking, kayaking and, of course, camping. I know my way around this park like the back of my hand and have found it to be a place that I enjoy exploring.
I grew up in Northumberland County and have had the opportunity to work in many places that allowed me to really get to know the area. My first student summer job was at Ferris Provincial Park. At first, I had no clue what it had to offer, but once I was able to explore the park, I discovered how amazing it was. Working outside for a summer was very refreshing. I was privileged to be a part of a team that maintained the park and provided visitors with an excellent experience. I felt reinvigorated after my first year of university, thanks to working at Ferris that summer.
I often return to Ferris just to see the bridge and walk the trails. Before I head to the park, I usually stop at Dooher’s Bakery in Campbellford for one of their freshly made doughnuts. I love Northumberland County and all it has to offer, but my favourite place to explore will always be the suspension bridge at Ferris Provincial Park.
Discover the 50 most gorgeous parks across Canada.
Veteran Profile: Thomas Arthur Stiff, RCAF
Thomas was born in Toronto on May 27, 1922, and joined the RCAF in 1942. A member of the Toronto ski team prior to the war, active in both the slalom and jumping disciplines, he had a love of speed and no fear of heights, and went on to become a pilot after enlisting.
“I couldn’t believe the power of the Hurricane. From the 400 horsepower of a Harvard to 1,100-plus horsepower in a Hurricane, well…they were red hot. Powerful, but they were the most relaxing airplane I ever flew.”
Thomas was discharged in 1946, and now lives in Barrie, Ont.
For more profiles by Veterans Voices of Canada, click here.
This letter from a Canadian soldier explains the sacrifice of veterans everywhere.
The royal family’s highest-paying job
The royal family relies on more than 1,000 “servants” working at Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, and St. James’s Palace. Common jobs include managing social media, decorating, and everything in between. There is one job with the highest reported salary—the Keeper of the Privy Purse.
Sir Alan Reid, the current Keeper of the Privy Purse, reportedly earned £180,000 ($313,007) in 2012—making him the highest earner among royal family workers. The second highest reported salary is that of the Queen’s private secretary, Sir Christopher Geidt, who earns £146,000 ($253,883) a year.
Reid is essentially the treasurer of the royal family as he manages the Royal Household’s financials. He also publishes a yearly report on royal public finances. The Privy Purse itself is an allowance from the public revenue for the monarch’s private expenses. In 2016, the allowance was about $63 million, according to INSIDER. (Here is how much each person in the royal family is worth.)
The royals often face criticism for how they spend their money, especially when it comes to their designer wardrobes. In 2013, the family came under fire for paying workers like Sir Alan high salaries while that of other household workers remained low. Although there are perks of working for the royal family—including free staff meals and regular sightings of various family members—workers must also deal with long hours, Forbes reports. For people still interested in getting their foot literally inside the palace door, the family does have open positions.
Next, check out these surprisingly frugal habits of the royal family.
Why Are Cats Afraid of Cucumbers?
Videos starring cats afraid of cucumbers are popping up all over the Internet. In the videos, the felines face away and their owners secretly place a cucumber behind them. When the cats turn around, they are startled by the fruit that wasn’t there beforehand, often leaping back. Although both the videos and the cat reactions are shocking, the question remains as to why are cats afraid of cucumbers.
There are a few theories, but no definitive answer. Most experts agree that it isn’t necessarily the cucumber itself that scares cats. One of the most popular explanations is that cucumbers remind cats of snakes. “Cats are genetically hard-wired through instinct to avoid snakes,” Con Slobodchikoff, animal behaviourist and author of Chasing Doctor Dolittle: Learning the Language of Animals, told ABC News. “Cucumbers look enough like a snake to have the cat’s instinctive fear of snakes kick in.”
Another idea is that the sudden appearance of the cucumber is what scares the cat. This is similar to startling someone by sneaking up behind them, Mikel Delgado, a certified cat behaviour consultant who studied animal behaviour and human-pet relationships as a Ph.D. student at the University of California, Berkeley, told Mental Floss. Reports and videos of other fruits and vegetables scaring cats—including apples and bananas—reinforce the likelihood of this theory. (Find out why calico cats are all female.)
Jill Goldman, a certified animal behaviourist in southern California, explains that the cucumbers are triggering the cats’ natural startle responses. “With a startle response, a cat will often try to get out of there as quickly as possible and then reassess from a distance,” she says.
Although the videos showing cats afraid of cucumbers and other fruits are entertaining, experts advise against trying any similar pranks at home with your pet; doing so isn’t good for their health. National Geographic reports trying to do so could cause cats to injure themselves, break something, or lead to prolonged stress.
But that’s not the only time you could unintentionally be harming your cat. Here are 10 warning signs of cancer in cats that every owner should know.
Catch Reader’s Digest on The Marilyn Denis Show on Monday, July 23!
Don’t pack less—pack smarter! Tune into CTV’s The Marilyn Denis Show on Monday, July 23, for Reader’s Digest Canada’s best-ever packing hacks. Our online editor, Brett Walther, will be on-hand to help Marilyn squeeze the most gear and gadgets into a single carry-on. (You’ll never travel without a power bar again!)
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Moving On From PTSD Through Music
John Benoit will never forget the moment he set eyes on “Valerie,” the guitar that helped him sing his way back to life. In 2005, suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder, the once-extroverted medic quit the army. For the next decade, he lived off his military pension while holed up in a cottage in rural Nova Scotia with his pet rabbit, dog and two cats. But last May, when a friend told him about Guitars for VETS Canada—a charity that matches gently used instruments with disabled veterans—Benoit decided it was time to make a move.
The self-styled hermit had not interacted in a group setting in years, and the drive to the program’s headquarters 50 kilometres away in Halifax left him panicked. By the time he arrived at his destination, Benoit’s heart was pounding and he was dripping sweat.
After scanning the room for exits through which he could escape if necessary, he tried out a few guitars. Nothing. Then he picked up a dented, gold-hued Hohner and strummed several notes. As the acoustic guitar vibrated against his chest, Benoit felt stress seep out of his body. “There was an immediate bond,” he says. “It was like falling in love.”
Jim Lowther, a 47-year-old army veteran and the founder of Guitars for VETS Canada, had fallen first. He served in Bosnia in 1997, and though the war had ended, its ramifications and the ethnic divide were still very real. When a young Bosnian cook working for his unit was murdered, Lowther felt he should have done more to protect her. After returning to Canada, he was tormented by visions of her corpse. “The past would come on like a freight train,” he says.
Lowther hid in the basement of his Halifax bungalow to avoid lashing out at his wife, Debbie, and their three children. On one especially difficult day in 2010, he grabbed a guitar and started playing “I Should Have Known Better” by the Beatles. As he concentrated on the song, old ghosts retreated and the present moment flickered into focus. Then, a miracle: an instant of peace. “The crazy thoughts in my head had stopped,” he says. Lowther began playing regularly.
Though Lowther’s own mental health gradually improved, many of his fellow combatants were suffering. A spate of military suicides in early 2014—five deaths within a few weeks of each other across Canada—shook him deeply. “I’d been in that darkness, in a place where I’d thought of dying,” he says. Hoping to help others find solace, he decided to spread the music.
Today, Guitars for VETS Canada has more than 100 volunteers, with team leaders in major cities coordinating the delivery of guitars to veterans and still-serving soldiers. The music industry has also stepped up: the music-store chain Long & McQuade is the drop-off and pick-up point for the donated guitars; professional instructors offer 10 free lessons to newly enrolled participants; and Great Big Sea’s Séan McCann raised $50,000 for the organization at a benefit concert in 2017.
To date, the charity has served more than 1,000 former and current members of the military, who are referred by their compatriots, therapists and case managers from Veterans Affairs Canada. “We’ve had vets tell us that the guitar we sent helped them cut back on their medications, or even saved their lives,” says Lowther.
As for Benoit, Lowther’s organization coaxed him out of his comfort zone. A month after claiming “Valerie,” Benoit enrolled in music lessons with other retired service personnel. During breaks, the group swapped combat stories. As he recognized similar struggles in his fellow students, his feelings of alienation abated.
“The Guitars for VETS Canada program gave me back the sense of belonging I’d lost,” Benoit says. “And with that came hope.”
Next, find out how this amazing calendar is used to help Canadian veterans.
What was Anthony Bourdain’s favourite city?
Anthony Bourdain was the insider source on everything from food and culture to travel thanks to his four shows and visits to more than 80 countries in his lifetime. The late chef was also known for his no-nonsense attitude. Bourdain previously revealed that, out of all his travels, there’s only one city he would have lived in forever—Tokyo. (His least favourite country, surprisingly, was Switzerland.)
In an interview with Maxim in 2017, Bourdain said that he would choose the Japanese city of Tokyo. “If I had to agree to live in one country, or even one city, for the rest of my life, never leaving it, I’d pick Tokyo in a second,” he said. He was fascinated with the layers of flavours, tastes, and customs there.
Bourdain’s appreciation for Japanese culture included more than their food scene (although he especially loved good uni, sea urchin and duck!). He also practiced the Japanese martial art of jiu-jitsu and even penned a graphic novel about a sushi-chef who, “beheads customers who stir wasabi into their soy sauce.” And during his interview with Maxim, Bourdain was simultaneously getting a tattoo in a style called tebori, which is a traditional stick-and-poke Japanese tattoo method.
If you plan on visiting Japan, remember these 10 hidden gems in the Land of the Rising Sun. And afterwards, check out the 13 ways Anthony Bourdain changed the way the world eats.
