Are You Just Too Boring For Therapy?

You Can Do Better

Worried that your dull problems and weak-sauce neuroses are putting your therapist to sleep? Spent yet another tedious session talking about your mother? Again?

Don’t fear: therapy is about self-improvement. Yes, your counsellor is in this field because she wants to make a positive difference in the lives of others, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make her day positively different. This helpful guide can help you spice up your sessions—and self-actualize in ways neither of you have expected!

Share Your Interests

She may know nearly everything about your relationships with your family and friends. But does she know about your relationship to the hit 1990s television series Friends? While it’s true that your therapist pursued her career path to help others navigate life’s toughest circumstances, it’s also true that an hour spent determining whether you’re a Ross or a Phoebe is a valuable psychological exploration that says a lot about both of your capabilities.

Dress for the Occasion

Your therapist may have a master’s degree in psychology, but you can still wow her with your mastery of fashion. A nine-foot velvet cape makes a powerful statement without you having to use any words at all.

Add Some Mystery

Even the most professional relationship needs the element of surprise. Yes, it’s been wonderful having your therapist help you unpack your emotions every Thursday afternoon. But mixing things up with a Monday session will have her saying, “Did your schedule change?”

You can eagerly reply, “No, it did not. I just thought this would make things more interesting for you,” to which she will doubtless respond, “I’m happy to schedule appointments during all available work hours.” Exhilarating!

Saying “Thank you for helping me to see my worth” is so boring, and your kind, professional therapist deserves more. Try instead, “I bought a duck farm, but I’m not sure what to name all the ducks.” I assure you, she has never heard this line before, and that’s a much better thank you.

Change Your Makeup Routine

It’s really amazing how your therapist has helped you make boundaries for yourself. You can reflect that by literally drawing a line on one side of your face with a thick black Sharpie and not ever acknowledging it. She probably gets pretty tired of seeing all her other clients’ faces without lines drawn on them. This is sure to leave a mark on your face—but also in her heart.

Go on Adventures Together

So many of your appointments involve talking about the same locations: work, home, your innermost self. While it might be wildly inappropriate to literally travel with your therapist, a bit of emotional sightseeing could be just what you need to keep things fresh. Use mixed metaphors to let her know that “This early bird has bigger fish to fry.” The biggest adventure of all will be figuring

Next, check out the best jokes from 50 up-and-coming Canadian comedians.