25 Cat Jokes That are Paws-itively Hilarious
Updated: Aug. 03, 2023
You don't have to be a cat person to find these jokes purr-fectly delightful, but it might help.
Cat Jokes For When You’re Just Kitten Around
Optimists: The glass is half full.
Pessimists: The glass is half empty.
Cat owners: The glass is knocked over.
—@OhNoSheTwitnt
Q: How do French cats say “Thank You”?
A: Meow-ci Beaucoup
—Buzzfeed.com
Q: Why are cats so good at video games?
A: They have nine lives.
—@stobywan
Q: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their paws.
—Reddit.com
I saw a poster today that asked, “Have you seen my cat?”
So, I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can.
—@NorthernOvation
Q: Why are kittens actually excellent bosses?
A: They have great littership.
—Parade.com
Don’t miss our roundup of the best cat videos on YouTube.
Claw-Enforcement
Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purr-petrator.
—Reddit.com
I used to be in a band called “Missing Cat”… You probably saw our posters.
—Stewart Francis, comedian
Q: What do you call a feline with a short haircut?
A: A bob cat, of course
—Buzzfeed.com
Q: What do polite cats say when they’re in the way?
A: “Paw-don me! I’m furry sorry.”
—Buzzfeed.com
Q: What’s a cat’s favourite TV show?
A: Claw and Order
—Parade.com
Here are 25 knock-knock jokes that are genuinely hilarious!
Major Cattitude
Cats are more like “Hey, what are you up to? Never mind—I just remembered I don’t care.”
—Zoltan Kaszas, comedian
Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me!
Therapist: That’s pretty typical cat behaviour
—@PetiteRainCity
Q: What animals can you not trust?
A: Big cats! Because some are cheetahs, and some are always lion!
—@RealEllieMay
Remember, you don’t OWN a cat.
You know a cat.
—@shanselman
Q: Why did the cat wear a top hat?
A: Beclaws he was feline sassy
—Buzzfeed.com
Q: What do you call it when a cat is super-stylish?
A: Haute-cat-ture.
—@petassure
Q: Why did the cat avoid eating lemons?
A: They made him a sour-puss.
—Parade.com
My cat loves me so much that sometimes he stares at me with that look of love that’s almost creepy.
—Debra DiGiovanni, comedian
Check out the funniest jokes from 50 Canadian comedians.
Cat Jokes That Will Give You Paws
A fun part of having a black cat is occasionally accidentally talking to a crumpled up black T-shirt on the floor.
—@SarahCAndersen
I make a lot of jokes about my cat, but I always think, wouldn’t it be fun if my cat was making jokes about me to his cat friends? That would be awesome if my cat was at home going, “What’s the deal with all the crying”?
—Debra DiGiovanni, comedian
My husband is in the other room explaining to the cat that even though we are going to bed early, he (the cat) is welcome to stay up.
—@NikkiReimer
Somewhere there is a house cat that did more than I did today.
—Kristeen von Hagen, comedian
Q: What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
—Reddit.com
Q: What’s a kitten’s favourite kind of sticker?
A: Scratch and sniff!
—@utacampuscats
If our cat jokes gave you a giggle, don’t miss these hilarious cat GIFs for every occasion!
