![Funny food tweets - woman with silly grapefruit eyes](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-tweets-silly-grapefruit-woman.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Who’s in Charge Here?
Why would they call it a grapefruit? There already is a grape fruit. It’s called grape. Someone messed up here. – @perfectsweeties
![Funny food tweets - woman plugging her nose stinky](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-tweets-woman-plugging-her-nose-stinky.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Something’s Off
When does old cheddar cheese in the back of the fridge officially become “aged” cheddar? – @wakeupangry
![Funny food tweets - Pop Tarts](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-tweets-pop-tarts.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Time for a Breakfast Revolution
How come there are Pop-Tarts but no Mom-Tarts? Because of the pastryarchy. – @dramypsyd
![Funny food tweets - crying man](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-tweets-crying-man.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Caffeine Fiend
I’ve never cried over spilled milk, but I have been brought to tears over spilled coffee. – @natecomedy
![Funny food tweets - mystery freezer meals](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-tweets-mystery-freezer-meals.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Work Smarter, Not Harder
I have my own system for labelling homemade freezer meals. If you look in my freezer, you’ll see “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know” and my favourite, “Food.” That way when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, I’m certain to have what he wants. – GCFL.net
![Funny food tweets - breakfast face with eggs and bacon](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-breakfast-face.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Maple Laughs
How do you prevent Canadian bacon from curling in the pan? You take away its broom. – reddit.com
![Funny Tweets About Food - Lobster](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/funny-tweets-about-food-lobster.jpg)
Fancy Feast
Lobsters would be proud of themselves if they knew how expensive they were. – @megsdeangelis
![Funny food tweets - man drinking milk](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/funny-food-tweets-man-drinking-milk.jpg?fit=700%2C525)
Double the Dairy
Every time I drink milk, I remember my roommate who used to put powdered milk in his glass of milk so he could drink “more milk per milk.” —@aedison
![Homemade raisin ice cream](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/hilarious-food-tweets-worst-possible-combination.jpg)
Worst Possible Combination
My husband just bought me ice cream with raisins. So that was a fun marriage. —@smerobin
![Funny Tweets About Food - Food Delivery](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/funny-tweets-about-food-food-delivery.jpg)
Worthy Splurge
Why drive eight minutes when I can spend an extra $43 to have the food delivered to my doorstep? – @brandonslaterr
![Starbucks logo](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/hilarious-food-tweets-unusual-request.jpg)
Unusual Request
I was at Starbucks on my lunch break, and the guy in front of me in line asked the barista if they could crumble up two blueberry scones and blend them into his drink. Not sure what his story is, but I hope he finds peace. —@kendraaaleighh
![Uber Eats](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/funny-tweets-about-food-community-support.jpg)
Community Support
Me ordering delivery regularly:
- lazy
- needlessly expensive
- pathetic
Me ordering delivery during the COVID-19 pandemic:
- heroism
- singlehandedly keeping every small business afloat
- Nobel Prize in Economics —@OrangePaulp
![McDonald's drive-thru](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/funny-tweets-about-food-conundrum.jpg)
Conundrum
Drive-thru attendant: Would you like to try the chicken club?
Me: [Imagining chickens getting down on the dance floor] Hell yes I would. —@prufrockluvsong
Drive-thru workers reveal the craziest things they’ve seen at work!
![Eggos on supermarket shelf](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/funny-tweets-about-food-leggo-my-eggo.jpg)
Leggo My Eggo
My local Costco is out of Eggo waffles. A man and a woman reached for the last box at the same time. Though he was there first, by about two seconds, the woman insisted they should go to her and her children. I kid you not, the man, who had his two teens with him, replied, “Ma’am, leggo my Eggo.” —@Emily_R_King
![Assorted cereal boxes](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/funny-tweets-about-food-frosted-flakes.jpg)
Frosted Flakes
Dear cereal makers, exactly how tall do you think kitchen cabinet shelves are? —@AnniemuMary
![Traditional English breakfast](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/funny-tweets-about-food-what-time-is-it.jpg)
What Time Is It?
The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother. —@ArtByPush
![Toaster with toasted bread](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/funny-tweets-about-food-a-serious-commitment.jpg)
A Serious Commitment
If you’re getting serious about someone, check what number their toaster is set on, because that’s what you’re going to be living with. —@WilliamAder
Here are more jokes about marriage that are perfect for a wedding.
![Breakfast sausages in a cast-iron pan](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/funny-tweets-about-food-and-some-sausages.jpg)
…And Some Sausages
A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages. —@donni
![Frittata](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/funny-tweets-about-food-brunch-staples.jpg)
Brunch Staples
A frittata is just an omelette that studied abroad for a year in university. —@jenstatsky
![Waffles for breakfast](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/funny-tweets-about-food-batter-up.jpg)
Batter Up!
My wife was going to make pancakes. Then she wasn’t. Then she was. Then she wasn’t. Then she was. Now it looks like she’s just waffling. —@KentWGraham
![Yellow banana](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/tweets-about-food-forgotten-fruit.jpg)
Forgotten Fruit
It’s with a heavy heart that I announce that I let another innocent bunch of bananas rot on my kitchen counter for 12 days. —@Brittany_broski
![Cooking stir-fry vegetable and seafood dish at home](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/tweets-about-food-dinner-dilemma.jpg)
Dinner Dilemma
As a child, I truly did not understand how good I had it not having to decide what to eat for dinner every single night. —@jonnysun
![Dinner party](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/tweets-about-food-the-leftovers.jpg)
The Leftovers
My signature party dish is “The One I Realized I Totally Forgot to Put Out After the Guests Were Gone.” —@copymama
![Funny tweets about food - hipster coffee shop](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/funny-tweets-about-food-hipster-coffee-shop.jpg)
On the Menu
A girl in the coffee shop I’m working in just said to her friend, “Imagine a hot veggie smoothie,” and I’m wondering how to break it to her that soup exists. —@daynamcalpine_
Here are the best Reader’s Digest jokes of all time.
![Funny tweets about food - making salad](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/funny-tweets-about-food-making-salad.jpg)
Lettuce Imagine For a Moment…
I wish I were better at making salad. I want to be master of my own romaine. —@curlycomedy
![Hilarious Tweets - olives](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/hilarious-tweets-olives.jpg)
A Matter of Taste
There are three stages to growing up:
1) Olives are disgusting.
2) I don’t mind them.
3) Literally inhaling olives. —@Dongjirat
Check out these funny tweets every parent will relate to.
![Hilarious Tweets - midnight snack woman fridge](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/hilarious-tweets-midnight-snack-woman-fridge.jpg)
Can’t Sleep?
The worst thing about insomnia is discovering all the new hours of the day that you’re hungry. —@Asiadnyc
These silly sleep jokes will have you laughing in bed!
![Hilarious Tweets - reading menu](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/hiliarous-tweets-reading-menu.jpg)
No Substitutions, Please
I couldn’t remember the word “appetizer,” so I said “food’s first act” and, honestly, it works. —@Svershbow
![Hilarious Tweets - Waiting to eat](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/hilarious-tweets-waiting-to-eat.jpg)
Menu Misunderstanding
Are you telling me a shrimp fried this rice? —@Zuluonly
These movies about cooking will make your mouth water.
![Hilarious Tweets - little boy with butterflies in stomach](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/hilarious-tweets-little-boy-butterflies-in-stomach.jpg)
Quite the Appetite
Wife: At recess today, some kid named Billy told our daughter that he had butterflies in his stomach. Isn’t that adorable?
Me: That Miller kid? He’ll eat anything. —@Uncleduke1969
![food tweets cake fork](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-cake-fork.jpg)
Guilty Pleasures
I’m trying to shield my phone from onlookers because I’m embarrassed by what they might see, but it’s just slow-motion video of forks going into slices of cake. —@Originaldanksta
Check out the funniest one-liners on the Internet.
![Funny food tweets - opening oven door](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-food-tweets-opening-oven-door.jpg)
When Hunger Strikes
Directions: Allow food to sit and cool for at least five minutes before eating.
Me: No. —@Abbyhasissues
![food tweets menu](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-menu.jpg)
Isn’t It Obvious?
Date: What do you do?
Me: [Holds up menu] You just choose a meal from this book of food. —@Arfmeasures
These cheesy pick-up lines are good for a laugh (if not love).
![food tweets cauliflower](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-cauliflower.jpg)
Horror Veggie Tales
Friend: “It’s called cauliflower. It’s not ghost broccoli.”
Me: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] “Listen, kid, I know what I saw.” —@roxiqt
Life hack: memorize these funny phrases and use them as necessary!
![food tweets boiling water](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-boiling-water.jpg)
Freezer Burn
Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later. —@swaglordpat
![food tweets rice phone](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-rice-phone.jpg)
iAbsorb
Cooking tip: If you put too much water in your rice, toss a few phones in there. —@UniqueDude2
(Here’s why you actually shouldn’t put a soaked phone in rice.)
![food tweets floor food](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-floor-food.jpg)
Five Second Rule
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor.” —@ughrevolution
![food tweets cheese](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-cheese.jpg)
Cooking Tip
Quickly slice a block of cheese by throwing it through a harp. —@markleggett
(These cooking shortcuts, on the other hand, actually work!)
![Hilarious tweets - woman with thought bubble](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/hilarious-tweets-woman-with-thought-bubble.jpg)
Food For Thought
My thought bubble is just filled with pictures of my favourite snacks. —@Anniethenanny1
Don’t miss our roundup of the best snacks you can only find in Canada!
![food tweets bagel paper towel](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-bagel-paper-towel.jpg)
A Balanced Diet
I hate cooking, but I am excited to debut my cookbook, Toast on a Paper Towel, 365 Ways. —@LizHackett
![food tweets mug cake](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-mug-cake.jpg)
Part of a Wholesome Breakfast
Fill your coffee maker with cake mix for an amazingly delicious yet entirely unexpected Thursday morning. —@8989belinda
These funny good morning GIFs will start any day with a smile!
![food tweets crackers](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-crackers.jpg)
Secret Snack
If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called “monoscuits.” —@TenderBeefsteak
Here are the 10 Canadians you need to follow on social media.
![food tweets rice](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-rice.jpg)
Rice, Rice, Baby
Tips for beginner cooks: know your ratios!
1/2 cup uncooked rice = 2 cups cooked rice
1 cup uncooked rice = 5 cups cooked rice
2 cups uncooked rice = 14 cups cooked rice
3 cups uncooked rice = 68 cups cooked rice
4 cups uncooked rice = 1,036 cups cooked rice —@llw902
![food tweets bagels](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-bagels.jpg)
Whenever I Cut a Bagel:
Would you like the side that is somehow three times larger than the original bagel or the side that is the first object ever to have only two dimensions? —@dubiousrhetoric
Here are 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
![food tweets toast](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-toast.jpg)
Let’s Get This Bread
I love toast. What absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like, “Cook it again”? Unreal. —@LoserCrew
Don’t miss these jokes that make you sound smart!
![food tweets food](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-food.jpg)
Hungry
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. Typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation. —@AbbyHasIssues
![food tweets online recipe](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-online-recipe.jpg)
Kitchen Rules
To be clear, when I search for a recipe online, what I’m really looking for is a lengthy, detailed memoir of a basic woman’s journey to get the best version of said recipe, and if there aren’t three jokes about wine or licking the spoon per paragraph, I’m out. —@alicewetterlund
Here are 25 knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny!
![Funny parenting tweets - Kid hates food](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/funny-parenting-tweets-kid-hates-food.jpg)
Future’s Looking Bright
My kid just called romaine lettuce “gross kale” so the next batch of humans is coming alone nicely, thanks for asking. —@Lifeattiffanys
These hilarious tweets about driving will make you laugh out loud!
![food tweets garlic](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-garlic.jpg)
The Heart Wants What it Wants
Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart. —@weclock
Here are the the best jokes from Canada’s greatest comedians.
![food tweets birthday cat](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-birthday-cat.jpg)
A Very Special Birthday
Googling: “How to make a birthday cake for your cat.” —@joyce_byrne
These hilarious birthday jokes are guaranteed to get a laugh!
![Why Canadians drink milk out of bags](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/milk-out-of-bags.jpg)
You Know What I Mean, Eh?
If you’re Canadian and use milk bags and have never cut the tip off the bag by sawing it with a steak knife because nothing else was available, you’re lying. —@JodiesJumpsuit
Tend to have trouble making it to the punch line? Try memorizing these side-splitting short jokes!
![](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-cake.jpg)
Does That Cost Extra?
*Ordering cake over phone*
“And what would you like the cake to say?”
*Covers phone to ask wife*
“Do we want a talking cake?” —@KeetPotato
Don’t miss this roundup of the best Canadian jokes of all time.
![food tweets pringles](https://www.readersdigest.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/food-tweets-pringles.jpg)
Why Isn’t This a Thing Yet?
You should be able to twist the bottom of the Pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a lip balm. —@chrisdowning
If you enjoyed these funny food tweets, check out 100+ more hilarious tweets that are guaranteed to make you grin!